you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
