let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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