i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
