bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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