is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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