Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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