How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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