Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
