Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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