Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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