tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
