Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
