ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
