Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it's great music for shaving your balls
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
