do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
two words...techno handjob
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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