So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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