Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
