Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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