...so i touched it.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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