yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
