i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
