I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
