This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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