I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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