the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
