Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
