What did we do last night that was yellow?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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