is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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