so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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