in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
