I accidentally burped into my bong.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
