Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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