Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
