Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
