just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
