I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
