Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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