Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
