You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize