White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
