I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
