Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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