Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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