I smell stomach acid.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
