I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
