OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
