you guys were way drunker than both of me
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
