Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
