Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
