i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
