All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
