i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
