after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
