I'm jealous of your bromance
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
