do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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