we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize