got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
