Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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