my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
