Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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