I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
