i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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