You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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